Community Corner

Is community important? I know we all could make a long long list of reasons why we think community is important. I heard on the news a couple of days ago: 

In 2023, our nation’s Surgeon General declared an epidemic of loneliness. In a very recent study, it was found that loneliness can bring about health risks like heart disease, stroke, dementia, and anxiety & depression. Yet, the good news is this scientific report found that social connection helps with these problems by 50% or more.

So, a sense of community is essential.

We need each other!

Venerable Master Hsing Yun, our founder, wisely counsels us:

“Friends are very important to our growth and development

 and for this reason we should exercise good care in choosing them.”

Where Do We Find that Sense of Belonging?

One place I have observed people finding Community is through our monthly Community of Practice events which we like to call CoP. Our subchapter family joins efforts with the temple, and we host “Community of Practice” events once-a-month, on a Saturday. For two hours we mingle, make positive connections with each other, learn, reflect, meditate, and share.

We are building a safe place to be, to bond, to share, and also identify ways each one of us can grow—make shifts, let go, pick up, just “be”—and live peacefully & harmoniously.

At one of our past CoP’s, we were setting up tables, decorations, signs, and preparing food. I was standing behind the check-in table, organizing all the name tags for our soon-to-arrive guests who had already RSVP’d.

I looked across the table and standing directly in front of me was 9-year-old Ethan; his big brown, dancing, inquisitive eyes looking up at me.

We smiled at each other; he watched my every move. “What are you doing?” he asked. 

I explained, “Everyone gets their very own name tag when they arrive, so we know each other’s names.” 

“Where’s mine? Do I get one?” He continued, “I don’t need it now, because I have to go in a minute, but I will come back, and when I return, I will come here to get it, ok?”

“Yes, that’s perfect!” I answered. “Your name tag will be waiting here for you.”

“Ok, I’ll be back!” he reassured me.

“And, I promise, your name tag it will be waiting right here for you.”

He stared at me for a brief moment, as if, he was deciding rather to believe me.

I said, "I promise!”

Then he turned to rush away. Looking back at me, he shared his parting words: “I’ll be back!”

Every time I reflect upon this, it warms my heart.

Ethan was not only a great teacher for me in that moment, but

in each moment afterward, when I reflect; I have an everlasting,

crystal-clear reminder of the significance of belonging!

By the way—when he returned, his name tag was waiting for him!

Once we Find Community, Then What?

A long long time ago, on a sunny day, much like today,

the Buddha and Sariputra were standing in the courtyard visiting;

a dove flew in and landed in Sariputra’s shadow.

Maybe the dove was looking for a shady place to get out of the hot sun and rest a bit.

However, the dove could not settle-in, it appeared nervous,

jittery & very anxious.

After a short while, it flew up into the air and

came back down into the shadow of the Buddha. 

Immediately, the dove became

peaceful, calm & content.

Upon seeing this, Sariputra was curious, so he asked the Buddha,

 “Why is the dove so nervous & tense when it is near me, but when it is close to you, it is so relaxed and at ease? I have no intentions whatsoever of harming it.”

The Buddha explained to Sariputra that even though Sariputra had no intentions or thought of harming the dove, Sariputra still had remnants of anger that he carried within that the dove could feel.

Sariputra was so sad to hear this; however, he understood and said he would cultivate compassion from that moment on so that he could help others.

He wanted others to feel comfortable, at peace & ease around him.

He wanted to be part of the community!

He wanted to help his community!

The first time I heard this story—many years ago—I decided to conduct my own experiment.

 I began observing how animals (birds, squirrels, dogs, cats)

would react & interact with me.

It’s like having an inner gauge, with me at all times, that helps me measure if I am carrying less anger and more compassion.

One day, I stepped out into the sunshine, behind our home,

onto our little deck.

Many of you have been in our backyard,

and you will remember our fountain attracts a variety of critters,

including lots of birds.

They swoop in for a daily drink, a bath, or both!

—Due largely to the water scarcity in our neighborhood.

As I stepped out onto the deck,

a hummingbird zipped in,

about a foot away from my head,

it hovered,

I froze.

I moved my eyes but not my head nor my body.

I wanted to observe it’s comfort level with me.

Will it stay close & be at peace?

or will it fly off immediately?

It moved in even closer,

mire inches from my head.

As hummingbirds do,

it hovered, like a mini helicopter, in midair,

then it backed up,

came closer,

backed up,

came closer.

It did this a number of times

coming ever so close.

I could hear the gentle hum of its wings and even a few of my hairs slightly moved from the gentle breeze it created as it moved 

back and forth,

up and down,

back and forth,

up and down,

as if it was doing a very thorough inspection of me.

Finally, it zipped off.

I thought, WOW, I MUST be improving!

Then I looked down;

I was wearing a red shirt!

 And, the thought came to me

I bet that hummingbird thought I was a GREAT BIG, odd-looking, red flower!

Whether the hummingbird thought I was a flower or not, I will never know... but through my experience & observation, I was reminded, once again, of the extreme importance to continue cultivating compassion.

As humans, I truly believe, we all need healthy friendships, community, and great teachers.

Like the dove,

the hummingbird,

& precious Ethan.

The dove who flew into Sariputra’s life, 

taught him about the importance of cultivating compassion.

so others would feel more comfortable being around him.

Ethan did the same thing for me—

He instantly appeared in my life

and taught me not to forget

the importance of

belonging-

Family.

Who will be my next teacher?

Who will your next teacher be?

On behalf of my Hsi Lai Subchapter Family,

I would like to extend a warm invitation to you,

and your loved ones, to join us

For our next Community of Practice.

You are all welcome to come and to experience

firsthand the environment we are creating

for others and for ourselves to find

community, clarity and peace within, together.

Hope to see you there!

Something interesting happened recently regarding my health, and I wanted to share a little story about it.

I had just gotten back from a long trip when I began to get sick. I thought it could have been from the jet-lag and lack of sleep. Only thing is, it just kept getting worse. It got so bad I couldn’t even sleep lying down without excessive pain in my head. I tried everything for relief of the pain, at night I would even try to sleep in a meditative position. Needless to say, I wasn’t getting much rest.

The sudden loss of health was ironic because during that trip I was planning a potential very early retirement. I was exploring where I might comfortably retire if I wanted to retire early at 40. I had also thought about what kind of lifestyle I wanted and forecasting how my finances would support it. As I lay on my bed, unable to sleep or work, I realized something important- planning is really just for our own sense of control. We make plans because it gives us comfort, but reality unfolds according to its own causes and conditions, regardless of what we want or hope for. No matter how much we try to prepare, life will play out in its own way, often in ways we can’t foresee or influence.

For those four days, even though I was in severe pain, I still had to continue working. That gave me a lot of empathy for the elderly, who live with constant aches and pains but still show up every day and carry on with life until the end of their days. It also made me think about those struggling with mental illness—how people must live with pain or difficult thoughts every day. We can’t escape our own suffering; it’s something we have to live through and deal with. It was a reminder of how important it is to cultivate ourselves and to be there for others who are going through difficult times with kindness, warmth, and support.

After days of pain and no answers from Urgent Care, I finally realized it was a tooth issue. As soon as it was fixed, just like that, everything that had felt unbearable was suddenly in the past.

What struck me was how the pain of those four days, which felt endless, was immediately resolved. It’s easy to get lost in the moment’s suffering, but just as things come, they also go. The impermanence of life in full display. This experience also made me realize that no matter how much we accumulate (whether it’s wealth, fame, or comfort) none of it matters when we’re in pain. All I desired was to be free from physical suffering.

This brings me back to the Buddha’s teachings on impermanence. Ultimately, worldly sensations don’t hold lasting value. We don’t know when or if we’ll get sick, or how things will resolve themselves. There’s no timeline for these things—when it happens, it just happens. This whole experience has reminded me to live in the present moment and appreciate what I have now because who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Lastly, I found the entire experience interesting because I actually have so much gratitude for it. The pain itself came and went, which I still find amazing as I sit here writing. For a moment, in the depths of my pain, I couldn’t remember what it was like being healthy. Anyhow, the pain came and went but the lessons I was reminded of —about empathy, gratitude, and impermanence—are here to stay. I still find it curious how it’s never about what happens to us  but rather how we perceive things that define our experience.  We have the power within us to turn any situation, however seemingly dire into a positive learning experience that can help us grow and find more peace within this life.

That’s the story I had to share from this very short but intense week of my life where my body being sick gave my mind time to contemplate on all these things.